Consciousness
by Nishiyama
Summary: A series of drabbles for Akatsuki fans. Each chapter is a look into the mind of one member. Stream of Consciousness Akatsuki syle. Adult content.
1. The Artist

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto nor any of its characters - they belong to Kishimoto Masashi.**

**A/N: This was originally an exercise for me to practice writing different characters' voices. It's written in Stream of Consciousness mode. Decided to post it in case some Akatsuki fans get a kick out of it. **

**WARNING: Rated M for a reason. Contains adult content. No sugar coating for the kiddies.**

* * *

My partner died. BAM! Just like that. Lumber for the fireplace. Endless arguments we shared. Seriously. They were precious. "Art is eternal. I am eternal!" Well, according to _my _sources, you're wrong and now you're dead. BANG! Life _is _fleeting. All the time and effort put into being something permanent was shot to shit.

That's life.

BOOM! Give me transience. POW! Deliver fireworks. BLAST! Show me Tobi. Where _is _Tobi? Rookie, bullshit partner. "Senpai, Senpai, Senpai!"

I wouldn't be surprised if he were behind a tree right now with his fingers up his ass. "Give it to me, Senpai! Give me a bang!" The Big Bang. The universe. "Give me the universe."

He wants me.

Everybody wants me.

They want me so badly I was forced to join. FIREWORKS!

"We're in need of your services."

Of course you are. You _all_ are in need of my services. Gorgeous blond by the bar. "I want an explosion." You want an explosion? Spread your legs and I'll give you an explosion. Tobi wants me. The Uchiha wants me. The blond at the bar wants me. All in need of my services.

Art is an explosion! Tobi with his fingers up his ass feels the detonation. BOOM! Feels good, doesn't it? The universe was an explosion. BANG! The blond, legs wide open, gets an explosion. A loud, wet explosion. Spread. Wider. Get them wider and I'll give you the _universe_. KATSU! There goes the blond. Goodbye.

We gotta go.

But where's Tobi? With his fingers still up his ass no doubt. In need of my services. POW! Wood is flammable. "Senpai, can you make fireworks?" Sure. Bend over. FIREWORKS! I don't care. Keep those fingers in your ass.

FLASH! Look at me. Uchiha wants me. I know it. Everybody knows it. Look at my art. BLAST! Tobi wants it. He looks for it up his ass. But it's not there. It's in my hands. The Uchiha knows it. The long-legged blond knew it.

But there's Tobi with his fingers up his ass. KATSU! There goes his flammable ass.

I wish.

DETONATION!

I want it.

Tobi wants it.

So he wants me.

RELEASE!

I want it.

The blond wanted it.

So she wanted me.

VIGOR!

I want it.

The Uchiha wants it.

So he wants me.

ETERNITY!

I don't want it.

My partner wanted it.

So he didn't want me.

And now he's dead.

BOOM!

I win.


	2. The Treasurer

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto nor it's characters - Kishimoto does.**

* * *

**There are only two kinds of people in the world: **

_those who make me profit and those who piss me off. _

Right next to me is one of the latter. Blood splattered, slow and unprofitable. If he were a piece of real estate, he'd be foreclosed. No one would pay, no one would invest. No collateral to be offered.

Barren rites and unanswered prayers. No compensation. My patience is slipping. My time is precious. More precious than his insignificant life.

When you live as long as I have, you learn what is truly valuable. _Transactions_. Give me money and I'll give you my time. Time is money and money is power. So time is power. I've given myself a lot of power by giving myself a lot of time.

But I want more power so I need more time. Why do I have to put up with this shit? There is NO real god. That's another thing you learn when you live as long as I have.

Here's a quiz:

What is the ultimate source of power in the world? The one thing that can solve all problems. It can end suffering and hunger. It brings happiness. It opens doors. Opportunities.

God?

Of course not.

Answer: Money.

Now if I could only get that ridiculously zealous moron to see my point, I wouldn't be in this predicament.

He needs to die. Die for his stupidity, die for his deity.

But what he doesn't know is that MY god is more powerful. My god transcends dogma and complacency. EVERYBODY likes my god.

Even _he _wouldn't say no to my god. Sitting there in mock prayer. If I offer him enough of my god, he'd take it. So much for fidelity. Discarded loyalty.

Disposable. Those who are not lucrative are usually tossed out. Clean, simple transactions. They die and I get an array of benefits: peace of mind, money, more time, another heart...

He must die. But he won't. So in the name of investment, I extend my forbearance. He has potential. The potential to be profitable.

But he's an imbecile. He doesn't realize that this ritual of his is a transaction, albeit an unprofitable one. **Blood in exchange for immortality.**

I prefer a more beneficial dealing. **Blood in exchange for money**. I can get my immortality elsewhere. You just need to know how to _obtain_, how to _invest_. And this screeching half-wit knows how to do neither.

So I allow him to keep his irrelevant ritual and I'll use it as collateral when I find a way to turn him into something lucrative.


	3. The Shark

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto nor any of its characters - they belong to Kishimoto.**

* * *

Blue.

There are hundreds of cliches for blue.

And twice as many jokes.

I've heard them all.

I don't like the blues and I don't like enka. What I do like are long legs in short skirts. I like poker and a good fight.

Sex is like a good fight.

And right now, where can I get either one? A fight is easy to find. A good fight isn't. As for the other thing, it's not as easy to get. When was the last time someone put up a good fight? When was the last time I touched long legs?

It's too pathetic to admit to.

No one's strong enough. No one's deep enough.

There's an idiot staggering out of a pachinko parlor. Gold chains and snakeskin shoes. A fight is easy to find.

But I don't like pachinko.

Sex is easy if I pay.

But I only drop my money for poker.

And beer.

I like older women. They're the only ones who know what a big sword and big hands mean. The cougars. They're my allies.

Which itch do I scratch tonight? I can find the easy fight. But the other two. The other two, I have to work for.

Where are the strong ones? Put up a fight.

Where are the deep ones? Drop your panties.

I'm huge. I really am.

I don't like fish jokes.

I see a cougar. Wagging her ass. Long legs. Short skirt.

Cats eat fish. But throw a cat in water and what do you get?

She turns towards me. She can feel it. Big sword, big hands. My ally.

Mr. Snakeskin thinks he's strong. He kicks the shit out of a bum. Outside the pachinko parlor.

The Cougar licks her lips. Juicy lips. She likes fish. I like pussy. We can get along.

Which itch?

Mr. Snakeskin likes to break bones. The Cougar likes to not wear panties.

Which one?

The Cougar knows big sword and big hands.

I know short skirt and long legs.

Mr. Snakeskin knows no rush from killing a bum. He wants stronger bones. Outside the pachinko parlor.

Mr Snakeskin senses big bones.

The Cougar does too. Big bone.

Scratch the itch.

I hear enka.

Outside the pachinko parlor.

Big bones. Blue balls. I've heard them all.

The Cougar turns away. Luscious, thong-less ass. Mr. Snakeskin cracks his knuckles. Fake gold rings.

I hear the blues.

A fight is easy to find. A good fuck isn't.

The Cougar walks into the pachinko parlor.

Maybe I do like pachinko.


End file.
